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Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at
painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand
corner as a
trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have
dated 5 gals when
I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but
never dare go
after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't
have a good
figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a
very ordinary
gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent,
like her
frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence
and her
fragility. Reason for not going after her is because
I felt
somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for
me. I'm also
afraid that after we are together all the good
feelings will
vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt
her. I felt that
if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't
have to give
up everything just for her. The last reason, made her
accompany me
for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I
have make her
heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very
demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us.
She was
embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running
off. The next
day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely
didn't want to
think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her
the whole day.
When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in
the classroom.
She didn't know that I returned from soccer training
to get
something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once
when both of them
quarreled. I know that based on her character she's
not the type
that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided
with my
girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled
shocked. I
didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my
girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like
nothing has ever
happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't
know that my
heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her
out. After
going out for a day, I told her that I have something
to tell her.
She told me that coincidentally, she has something to
tell me too.
I told her about my break up and she told me about her
getting
together. I know whose the guy. He has been going
after her for
quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively
and
interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of
the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile &
congratulate
her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong
that I can't
stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my
chest. I couldn't
breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down
& I broke
down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for
the man that
doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send
10 days ago
when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since
then. It
says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or
because Tree
didn't ask her to stay"
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Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?
Because I felt
that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying
on for so
long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of
Pre-U I was
on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as
buddy kind.
But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling >
I never
should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the
heart can't be
describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour
lemon.
Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only
together for 2 mths.
When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of
happiness. But after
a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he
pursue me? Since
he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move?
Whenever he
had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after
time, my
heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one
sided love.
If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well.
It's beyond what
you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is
very heart
wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his
feelings
towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect
me a gal to ask
him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care
for him,
accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he
will come &
love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every
night, wanting
him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he
is, he will
make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years
were the hardest to go through & I really want to give
up.
Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The
pain and hurt,
the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins
to go after
me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From
outright rejection
to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let
him have a
small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle
wind, trying
to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I
realized that I
didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my
heart. I know
this wind will bring this badly battered leave far
away & better
land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile &
didn't ask me
to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree
didn't ask her to stay
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Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so
dependent on
tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will
blow her away.
When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to
the new
school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors &
me playing
soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting
there. Be it
alone or with her friends looking at him. When he
talks with gals
there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her,
there's a
smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit.
Just like she
likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed.
I can't
explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.
The senior
was also not there as well. I went to their
classroom, hid outside
and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her
eyes while he
left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place,
looking at him.
I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note &
gave to her.
She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept
the note. The
next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her
away
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because
leaf never want
to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she
started to
talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know
that the
person she loves is not me. But I have this
perseverance that one
day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have
declared my love
for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will
divert away
from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I
want her to be
mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. >
I can't
remember how many times I have declared my love to
her. Although I
know she will try to divert but I still bear a small
ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I
didn't hear any
reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you
doing? How
come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm
nodding my
head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm
nodding my head"
She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly
changed and took a
taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell.
During the moment
when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf
departure is
because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask
her to stay
