Thursday, May 18, 2006

Time for a laugh

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The difference between "Men" and "Guys:"

Men: know what they want to be doing five years down the road.

Guys: are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.

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Men: read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf.

Guys: read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker.

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Men: wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces.

Guys: wear high school T-shirts they've actually owned since high school.

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Men: balance their checkbooks.

Guys: balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy twice in a row.

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Men: claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner.

Guys: claim to be feminists so they can let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner.

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Men: are afraid of becoming their fathers.

Guys: are afraid of becoming men.

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Men: put you on the phone when their mothers call.

Guys: pretend you're not there when their moms call.

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Men: start their own businesses.

Guys: quit their jobs.

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Men: order wine based on more than the price.

Guys: bring their own beer.

-=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=-

A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington, DC. The bride is concerned. "What if the place is still bugged?" The groom says, "I'll look for a bug."

He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, and under the rug. "Aha" Under the rug was a disc with 4 screws. He gets his screwdriver, unscrews the screws and throws the disc out the window.

The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds "How was your room?" "How was the service?" "How was your stay at the Watergate?"

The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?"

The hotel manager says "Well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them."

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A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

"No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."

"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.

"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."



The End
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