Jokes

Wisdom For Your Cubicle

· If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

· The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

· Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

· Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

· A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

· If at first you don't succeed--try management.

· Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

· Never quit until you have another job.

· Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!

· Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

· Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free.

· Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.

· There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.

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Ways Hell is Better Than Your Job

Your coffee stays hot all day!


Never have to look very far to find the legal department.


In hell, you *know* who drank your Coke in the fridge -- Satan!


30% fewer "Dilbert" cartoons in the break room.


In hell, that devil-may-care attitude of yours comes in handy.


You get to spend more time with your spouse now.


No more wondering if the boss hates you.


Riding to work in a handbasket beats the hell out of public transportation.


Hourly dunks in searing pools of molten lava actually quite invigorating.


Surfing porno sites all day scores *major* points with the boss!


Your office: One free stale donut every Friday.


Hell: One brutal mutilation of a "Full House" cast member every Friday.


Your job? Suit and tie. Hell? Pitchforks and attitude, Baby!


Ferocious reptilian demons can appreciate a good dirty joke now and then without threatening a sexual harassment complaint.


Microwave popcorn -- without leaving your cubicle!



The End

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